Reflections from our founder as her baby turns three months

And just like that, our fourth trimester is over.

If I reflect on how this has been compared to first time round, it's been an entirely different experience. The babies are different. I'm different. The season is different. My birth was different.

This baby is following the cliché of the chilled second child  though I suspect that's partly because I'm more chill.

Do it until it stops working

One thing that's helped me enormously this time is a simple mantra: do it until it stops working.

It has removed all the pressure of strict rules around the contentious subjects — dummy or no dummy, sleep training or co-sleeping, naps always in the cot, must pump. If something works for us right now, we do it. When it stops working, we change.

I feel liberated this time round. I've chosen to trust my instincts and read my baby rather than any apps  I hate the thought of my baby's routine being fed into some machine to predict her next move. She'll do what she wants, when she wants. Don't get me wrong, we're in a routine  I wouldn't survive without one. But the routine serves us, not the other way around.

The thing that's helped most: support

Undoubtedly, the thing that has made the biggest difference is the support around me.

My mum has been helping with both kids  my son calls her "the Manny" because he can't say Granny yet, and honestly, we love the Manny.

Friends have given the most thoughtful gifts  perhaps with Amae values in mind! Homemade meals. Concealer for the bags under my eyes. A manicure. A night nanny.

And this time, I've surrendered. I've well and truly accepted the help.

What I'd tell my first-time self

Hindsight with your first is easy once you have a second. I wish I hadn't rushed. I wish I'd been able to accept my new life with ease. I wish I'd asked for help.

Nothing can truly prepare you but this time, I was prepared for the fourth trimester itself. I knew recovery would be the priority. I knew support was something you plan for, not something you hope arrives.

If you're expecting, I urge you to build your support before baby comes just as you would a wedding registry. That's exactly why we created Create Your Village: a registry of support for the fourth trimester, so the people who love you can give you what you'll actually need. Meals, recovery, rest, help.

The best gift anyone gave me this time wasn't a thing at all. It was a village.