Was it easier for men back in the day?
4 min read | Gifting | Father's Day ·
For the men who could escape the chaos of home, head to work, maybe even squeeze in an after-work drink with colleagues or clients, conveniently missing bathtime — all for business reasons, of course.
Things look a little different now. The modern man is juggling a career and home life just as the modern woman is, because these days, two incomes aren't just nice to have, their essential.
THE NUMBERS
Why two incomes aren't optional anymore
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£12,425 Average annual cost of full-time nursery for a child under two in England Coram Family & Childcare Survey, 2025 |
£30,000+ Annual cost of full-time under-2 care in Inner London — nearly 70% of one parent's take-home salary Nuuri / Coram, 2025 |
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+20% Rise in nursery fees over five years, while median earnings grew only 10–15% Nuuri, 2025 |
87% Of fathers with a child aged 0–2 are in full-time employment ONS, 2025 |
Childcare is now, for many families, the size of a second rent. The numbers are stark: the average full-time nursery place for a child under two costs around £12,425 a year in England and that's after funded hours are applied. In Inner London, that figure climbs past £30,000, equivalent to nearly 70% of the city's median take-home pay for one parent.
No wonder, then, that dual incomes have become less of a lifestyle choice and more of a financial necessity. And with 87% of fathers with babies under two in full-time work, the image of the dad who simply clocks in and clocks out belongs firmly in the past.
THE REALITY
The load that doesn't get talked about
We talk a lot about the mental load women carry: the dozens of tabs permanently open in her head, never quite switching off. And rightly so. But as roles shift, the conversation is slowly, quietly expanding to include the weight fathers are carrying too.
The UK offers some of the shortest statutory paternity leave in the OECD just two weeks, compared to an average of over ten weeks across member countries. Perhaps unsurprisingly, 78% of dads say their paternity leave fell short of what they needed to bond with their baby and support their family. More than two in five fathers still report difficulty balancing work and family life.
"His shift is the harder one. Mine mostly just sleeps and eats on repeat."
As I navigate the early days with baby number 2, I've been watching my husband up at the crack of dawn with our 21-month-old, heading into work to run his own business and manage a team, then rushing home for bath time (he will love me for this). We each have one child at the moment and honestly his shift is the harder one. Mine mostly just sleeps and eats on repeat.
The shape of modern fatherhood has changed fundamentally. Since 2020, it has become more common for both parents in a couple to work full-time than for the traditional pattern of one full-time earner and one part-time. Men (alongside women) are managing teams, running businesses, and then racing home to do bath and bedtime and many are doing it with little systemic support.
OUR TAKE
Support doesn't have a gender
It's why we've always been careful to describe Amae as a platform for growing families, not just mums. Our services are there for dads too. And really, who wouldn't want a full night's sleep with the help of a sleep consultant? Or a beef ragù, courtesy of The Food Doula, waiting for them after a long day?
Exhaustion doesn't discriminate. The mental load, the relentless pace, the pressure to hold everything together at work and at home that belongs to both parents now. Amae is here for all of it.